


And Justice for All

by Karasuno Volleygays (ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor)



Series: Sportsfest 2018 [86]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, the only proper response to misogyny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 17:05:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16122959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor/pseuds/Karasuno%20Volleygays
Summary: Daishou's had enough of the loud jackass berating his girlfriend a few stools down at the bar. Kuroo agrees, and mayhem ensues.





	And Justice for All

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Sportsfest 2018 bonus round 4.

Daishou watches the scene in front of him with distaste roiling deep in his belly. He came to this bar to unwind after work, but that’s almost impossible when some hulking behemoth of a man is two stools down, berating his girlfriend like it’s her fault she’s so pretty that other guys keep looking at her. He rolls his eyes to himself when he ponders how that hairy Sasquatch would react if she  _ didn’t  _ make herself up nicely.

After the third or fourth nasty barb sent her way, Daishou drinks his beer in one long swig and turns to Kuroo, who is sipping a cocktail next to him and flicking through facebook on his phone. “Can you believe this guy?” he mutters next to Kuroo’s ear. “If he doesn’t shut up, I’m gonna beat him to death with own belt.”

A sly smile creeps across Kuroo’s mouth. “I was thinking the exact same thing.” Raising a brow, he asks, “Shall we rescue the fair maiden from the snarling beast, my love?”

“You could’ve phrased it literally any other way and not sounded like a tool, but yeah.” Daishou narrows his eyes and looks over at his new target. “I have an idea.”

Leaning in, Kuroo asks, “Do tell.” Daishou whispers his simple but likely effective strategy, and Kuroo’s eyes glitter at the concept. 

On cue, Daishou slips from his stool and crosses the room to the biggest, meanest looking biker dude in the bar and bows. “Pardon the intrusion, sir, but I couldn’t help but overhear that guy —” He gestures to his current least favorite misogynist. “— say you look like a dumbass with that ponytail.”

Daishou observes while the man’s face reddens and his fists clench at his sides. Excellent. “I would tell him off, but I’m not exactly the muscle type. I like your ponytail, though.” As the biker stomps over to presumably extract a price for rudeness, Daishou gives Kuroo a thumbs-up and stands back to let the show unfold. 

“You son of a bitch!” the biker yells, and he wrenches his large target off his stool by the back of his collar and plants a thunderous punch in the center of his face. 

Blood splatters all around, the guy’s nose visibly broken. The two of them square up, and Kuroo slips around him and ushers the frightened young woman away from the brawl. Daishou follows as Kuroo takes her outside.

Peeking behind him, Daishou snickers as the entire bar devolves into a melee. At least their part will go unnoticed in a sea of black eyes and curses.

When they make it to the curb, Kuroo slips his jacket over the girl’s shivering shoulders and asks softly, “Are you okay?”

“God, I’m so glad to be out of there.” She casts a disgusted look back at the bar. “A supposed friend set me on a blind date with that guy, and he was so gross. I was afraid to leave.”

Daishou grins and gives her a thumbs-up. “Well, feel free to leave whenever you like. I think we’re gonna call it a night.” He hails a taxi and hands the driver three thousand yen before gesturing toward the open door. “Your chariot awaits.”

“Thanks, guys.” She waves and gives them a shy smile. “That’s really sweet. Too bad I wasn’t on a date with one of you.”

Kuroo chuckles. “As flattering as that is —” His hand slides around Daishou’s waist and tugs him to his side. “— I’m afraid we’re both taken. But thank you, and take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, you too.”

The taxi drives away, and the girl blows a kiss through the back window. Daishou rolls his eyes when Kuroo pretends to catch it and clutch it to his heart.

“Nerd.” Daishou grabs Kuroo’s waist and pulls him flush against his chest. “You know, I think you’re sexier when you’re rescuing damsels in distress.”

“Oh?” Kuroo brushes a kiss to Daishou’s lips and murmurs, “So where’s my hero’s welcome?”

Daishou’s hands slip into the back pockets of Kuroo’s jeans, and he grinds their hips together. “Oh, I have an idea or two.” They share a heated kiss, and when he wrenches away, Daishou gasps, “But you’re paying for the cab home. I’m broke.”

“You got it, babe.”

**Author's Note:**

> The file name for this is literally "kuroshou gay batman and robin".


End file.
